There are some days when I get so many ideas for things I want to do that I can barely stand it. I’ve planned out a million different lifetimes for myself and for those around me, so many that sometimes when I wake up I have to consciously remind myself which one is real.
Tomorrow I find out whether or not I get a promotion that I applied for a while ago that I’m not even sure that I want. I know that I don’t not want it, if you care to follow that, but that doesn’t mean that it’s for me.
It’s a great opportunity; that’s the cliché of the moment. And it is. But it would mean saying no to other opportunities. Opportunities that don’t even really exist outside my head, but still they’re there.
Part of me feels like I don’t deserve it. Like it all worked out a little too perfectly. Like I couldn’t have planned it any better. Of course, when it looks as though everything is going to turn out according to plan, that’s when I open my toolbox and start tossing wrenches.
I have more to say on the subject, but it’s time for bed.