Yes and No and Maybe

The ramblings of a token twenty-something: young, wild and indecisive

My quarter-life crisis came a year early.

There are some days when I get so many ideas for things I want to do that I can barely stand it. I’ve planned out a million different lifetimes for myself and for those around me, so many that sometimes when I wake up I have to consciously remind myself which one is real. 

Tomorrow I find out whether or not I get a promotion that I applied for a while ago that I’m not even sure that I want. I know that I don’t not want it, if you care to follow that, but that doesn’t mean that it’s for me. 

It’s a great opportunity; that’s the cliché of the moment. And it is. But it would mean saying no to other opportunities. Opportunities that don’t even really exist outside my head, but still they’re there. 

Part of me feels like I don’t deserve it. Like it all worked out a little too perfectly. Like I couldn’t have planned it any better. Of course, when it looks as though everything is going to turn out according to plan, that’s when I open my toolbox and start tossing wrenches.

I have more to say on the subject, but it’s time for bed. 

That one dish that never really gets clean but you just keep putting it back in the dishwasher because fuck if you’re going to wash it by hand, that’s what you have a dishwasher for…

100 Day Song Challenge

04. A song that makes you want to dance

Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson

There are a lot, A LOT, of songs that make me want to dance. Dancing is fucking fun. But the ultimate is and will probably always be MJ. You can’t sit still when this shit comes on. You just can’t.

Oily skin ages better than dry skin. That is a fact. So whenever I see a zit on my face (that is, every day) I just think to myself “Pfff, whatever dude, when you’re 35 you’re going to look 31” and that totally makes it all worth it. 

100 Day Song Challenge

03. A song that makes you cry

Piano Man by Billy Joel

My granddad played piano his whole life. It’s how him and my grandma met (a super cute story, by the way) and I remember spending a lot of time sitting next to him on the piano bench while he tried to teach me chords or chromatic scales or whatever. He was always entertaining us in some way, either with a song or some terribly corny joke. He was smart and kind and him and my grandma were rather adorable together and I wish I had gotten to know him better. We used to call him the Piano Man and so we played this song at the end of his funeral ceremony. It was a really sad day, especially for my grandma, and for the next few years I cried every time I heard this song. Sometimes I still do. 

The subject matter of the song is kind of sad too in a way, as are those poor waitresses’ outfits, but we don’t have to get into that. 

It’s unsettling, really. How easy it is to meet someone who can just destroy you. How one minute you can be asking for a name and the next you can’t remember what it feels like not to want to kiss them.

—I wrote that down a while ago as part of a story I was writing and now I see the word unsettling up there and for me it doesn’t fit. It’s exciting, is what it is. Not that I’m referencing anyone in particular or even clearly remember what it’s like to want someone that badly, but that’s the point, isn’t it? The knowledge that it could all happen out of the blue, that your next heartache is just around the corner, well it’s more toe tingling that stomach turning, right? 

100 Day Song Challenge

I’m already slacking, but I’m cool with it.

02. A song that makes you laugh

From God’s Perspective by Bo Burnham

I find a lot of things funny so there’s a lot of songs that make me laugh, not just tunes meant for comedy. This one, however, is. And I posted about it a while ago, specifically because while the song is meant to be funny, it’s actually still a really good song. Hilarious, thought-provoking & better that a lot of shit on the radio these days. What more could you ask for?

Also, one thing I’ve always loved is when people impersonate any sort of God and portray him or her with a potty mouth. Comedy gold, in my book.